There’s a boy

There’s a boy

And he’s absolutely great

He makes me feel happy and smiley

And all of that typical stuff When one meets someone amazing.

When he’s around

My stomach knots up

All my insides tangled

My hands start to shake

Like suddenly there’s an earthquake

And it refuses to leave my body

But you know what will leave my body?

My heart.

It’s beating like crazy

Any second now…

It’s going to jump right out of my chest!

And then he looks at me

He looks at me with those brown eyes

He looks at me and smiles

That freaking adorable smile.

I forget how to breathe

I forget how to move

And how to speak

All because…

He looked at me.

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First day of Year 11

Hey there!

Today was actually the second day of year 11 and it was amazing and I was happy! Buuuut I’m going to be talking about yesterday, which sucked entirely.

I have never had such a bad day in my life and I can’t make sense of most of it, so bare with me.

I have to wear a different coloured uniform this year because I’m now a senior and this colour shows any drop of water, sweat or just anything wet that lands on it or soaks onto it.

Sometimes when I get super nervous, I sweat (gross? I know right and totally embarrassing!) not to mention that it was going to rain so it was extremely hot/muggy and that didn’t help the situation at all.

Anyway, we were suppose to be getting our timetables and the teachers got ALL of year 11 to sit in one room together with no air conditioner on, so not only am I already sweating because I’m nervous and the mugginess outside, but now I’m crammed into a room with a whole year group. I started stressing and thinking that the people behind me could see the sweat that had seeped through me dress and as we were meant to be getting our timetables I raced to the bathroom and literally LOCKED MYSELF INTO A TOILET STALL! I didn’t have any idea on what I should do. I started fanning myself with a school book to try and stop my sweating and to also get rid of the stupid sweat patches that were on certain parts of my dress.

While completely freaking out, I asked my friend (we will call her Jay) Jay, to grab my timetable and anything else the teachers were handing out. When Jay tried to get my timetable, my year advisor asked where I was and was a little angry that I hadn’t returned. Jay explained that I was freaking out and so my year advisor got a little sad for me (which is not what I wanted, but he’s a sweet guy) and told Jay to go get me from the bathroom.

When I went back up into the classroom (with all of year 11 still in there) I had tears in my eyes, so I tried not to make eye contact with anyone so that nobody knew. My year advisor asked if I was alright and saw that I was on the verge of tears and tried to tell me that year 11 will be easy and to not cry, which kinda made me want to cry more because it was just really nice and comforting.

So yeah, that was my first ever breakdown at school.

Then during the rest of the day, bad things just kept following me around and it was actually crazy! I just had the worst luck yesterday and I was just really upset when I got home.

Anyway, I hope that made sense. Now I have to go back to doing the mountain of homework I’ve gotten in only 2 days!

Feel free to comment your worst school day , what happened and how you felt!

xox

Sleeping Issues

Hey there guys!

I’m not completely sure if anyone actually reads my blog posts, but I wanted to talk about my issue anyway as I think a lot of people struggle with the same problem.

Since I was 11 years old, sleeping has never been great for me. I mean, I can sleep, but it’s more the falling asleep part I have an issue with.

When I first started not being able to fall asleep, I would cry and freak out because I would have school the next day and I didn’t particularly want to be tired (keeping in mind, I was in year 6 and I WAS very much a “goody two shoes”).

When I was 12, I’d still get that stressed out feeling of being tired the whole day at school and I cried most of the times I didn’t fall asleep before a certain time. Everyone would recommend camomile tea or reading before I’d go to bed. The problem with that is, I already was reading because I love love love to read (and still do) and so I already knew that it wouldn’t help me fall asleep faster. I gave the tea a chance. Nothing.

When I was 13, my sleeping issues continued and so did that stressful feeling of not being able to fall asleep, but I had stopped crying about it. My Mum decided to take me to a doctor, who I assume she paid for. The doctor was a very nice lady who gave me a sheet of things to try doing before bed. So, I obviously tried every single thing on the list for ages and still, nothing.

When I was 14, I stopped caring and realised that this was how it was going to be and I would just have to deal with it. My Mum would ask me how I slept and I told her the time I went to sleep and as any parent would, she blamed it on technology and said that if I wasn’t on my phone so late, I’d actually go to sleep earlier. My problem with that, was 1. I didn’t have much to do with technology when I was 11, which is when the sleeping issues began and 2. It was an assumption she made and it was wrong. I hadn’t been going on my phone late, I make myself get off of it and lay in the dark for 1-2 hours trying to fall asleep.

I am 15 turning 16 very soon and still, I have quite some trouble falling to sleep. Before 2018, my Step Mum decided it was time to get me some more help because clearly the other doctors suggestions did not work. She took me to a doctor near by, he asked me all sorts of personal questions and I didn’t mind answering them. He went through a bunch of things with me and decided to try me on melatonin and not just the one you can grab off of a shelf, the higher dosage one that you need to get made and have a prescription for.

I’m still currently on melatonin and I find that it definitely works. I’ve been getting at least 8 hours or more of sleep and I’m a whole lot calmer now. I handle things greatly and I’m hardly ever moody. I just got another prescription for melatonin actually. I’m scared that once I stop taking it, my body will go back to old habits.

Comment below how long you’ve had sleeping issues for or your thoughts on this blog post xox

My Goals for 2018

Hey guys.

So I really just felt like sharing my goals for 2018 because I’ve been reading other people’s blog posts and them sharing their goals.

I think reading other people’s goals can be somewhat inspirational, because we all have completely different goals and sometimes we have extremely similar goals, but maybe reading other people’s resolutions inspires you to also have that on your list or makes you realise that you’re not the only person who wants to make that certain type of change.

Anyway, without further ado, here are my goals for 2018:

  • Lose weight
  • Drink heaps of water
  • Start going to the gym
  • Start eating breakfast more often
  • Journal more
  • Stand up for what I believe in
  • Don’t be scared to start a friendly debate
  • Clear up my skin
  • Don’t straighten my hair everyday
  • Keep my room tidy
  • Actually study
  • Stress less
  • Read more of my books
  • Continue this blog
  • Be happy and confident (cheesy, just like my favourite pizza hehe)
  • Educate myself out of school
  • Get my L’s
  • Go on adventures
  • Meet new people

They’re all my goals so far for 2018! I know it seems like a whole lot, but when you really look at it, they’re just a lot of little but achievable goals. I mean, some of them will definitely take time, but that’s all part of the fun!

If you’re still reading this, comment what your 2018 resolutions/goals are, because I would love to read them! xox

My First Blog Post

Hello to anyone who may be reading this.

I’ve be meaning to start a blog for awhile now, but have been a little bit busy to do so.

I’m extremely excited to be starting one though and hope that anyone reading, enjoys!

Things will definitely get personal and I encourage you to comment your honest thoughts on situations or topics or just anything in general, that I post about because I would love to read what you all have to say.

I will blog about a variety of things, as I have many things I’d like to write about and get peoples opinions on (so this blog is basically like a journal, except online lmao).

If you have any questions, personal or not (literally, they could be irrelevant from this post and I’d still answer them), definitely feel free to comment and I will happily answer them xox